How long of a distance should we consider, when it comes to dating? How far is too far? Let’s face it…Love is not always going to be found in our own backyards. But how do so many people find love locally? Is it a case of…Love the one you’re with? Is destiny in play? Or are people settling?

Some people say that there is one perfect match out there for each of us. Other people believe that there are many possible perfect matches out there for us. What do you think?

POTENTIAL DISTANCE DESIRES.

WITHIN WALKING DISTANCE? lol! I actually communicated with a man that said he only wanted to date women that lived in his City. Really? Wow, I thought! Close was apparently more important to him, than Choice. Hmmm?!

WITHIN DRIVING DISTANCE FOR A LUNCH-BREAK DATE? How sweet and convenient that would be. Enough said?

WITHIN THE STATE? I guess that might be dependent upon the size of the state. Rhode Island. Piece of cake! Texas? Perhaps not!

WITHIN THE REGION? I actually have been flexible with this idea, in considering anyone living in New England.

ACROSS THE USA? OR THE GLOBE? Are there Dating Trekkers and Globetrotters out there?

Of course I am teasing a bit. Though we all must have some ideas that we are entertaining, of what we think the ideal dating distance might be and what our dating distance limits might be. There are always exceptions to the rule though, right?!

I have friends that tell me firmly, that they will only date people within a 30 minute driving radius. They would NEVER consider anything out of State. For goodness sake, they won’t even drive an hour. But 30 minutes? I’m thinking that could really limit the dating pool. Don’t you think? Here I am, “swiping right” on profiles like 70 miles away, and somehow, sometimes, that ends up even further.

My friends tell me that they feel they want and need, to be at a distance, that would enable them to be spontaneous. You know, basically available at a moment’s notice. I agree, that is a wonderful thought, but life is not always so easy…or available. What do you think about long distance dating? How far away would you consider?

So, yes, my friends, they want to be incredibly close to their dates. I often, end up, being incredibly far away (not always my intention). And then, there are the relationships, that aren’t even meeting up at all, for dates. The idea of that, certainly sends my head spinning.

THOSE DATING STRICTLY ONLINE.

I actually find myself shaking my head in amazement and curiosity, when I hear or read stories about individuals that claim to be in love with someone that they have yet to meet.

Their relationships have been merely and strictly based on their online or on-phone communication. In this case, indeed the distance could be any, and it would seemingly have no impact. Close as a phone call, right?!

I do see how you could build a relationship of some fashion, via these methods, but to fall in love…to believe you have brought it to that level? I find that hard to swallow and I think a hazard warning should be posted for this one!

I will concede that the ability to now video chat, does bring a whole new dimension to this type of arrangement…relationship. I still have a difficult time wrapping my head around actually “being in love” with someone whose presence I have never been in.

Sight, scent, sounds, touch…how on earth can that be truly explored, not sharing the same space? How you interact…body language, ease of engagement…they all speak volumes. I can’t understand how you could possibly experience any of this over the phone or by the written word.

We have explored on here before, the strength of the written word…and is it indeed, powerful. But is it powerful enough to secure a “bond of the heart”? I can get lost in a finely written book…but that’s just it…lost. A temporary “lost” in the story. I however, know the difference between the story and reality.

It feels to me that these “on-line” love relationships, can’t possibly be fully recognized until they meet. Two people, being in the same physical space, at the same time.

I have also corresponded with “possibles” by phone, text, email, facebook, video chat, etc. Some were exceptionally fun! You do become more and more fond of each, the more you communicate. And yes, I have even entertained possibilities of what the future could hold. But never, has “love” entered the equation for me, when the relationship is in this state…the state of not yet having met in person.

Now on the other hand…there were long distance relationships with men I have “actually” dated (in person) in the past, that I/we maintained, and indeed we fell in love. Apples and oranges, I believe we have here.

UPDATE ON OHIO.

Last week I mentioned “Ohio” and how it seems, the “closer” I try (thought he was from Boston), the “further” I seem to end up. Well, Ohio and I have continued communicating. We did follow through with our video chat…and “He” was “He”! Yes, he looks just like his pics and he really does seem like a great guy!

I was the one that wanted it to be a “video” call (which we did through the BUMBLE site), so that we both could see that we were who we were claiming to be. It was an amazingly comfortable first conversation. We laughed out loud several times. He’s very funny. We definitely have a similar sense of humor.

We actually have a lot more in common than I realized. It really is difficult to get the whole picture from those limited BUMBLE profiles. But when you get chatting, especially when you can see each other, you do begin to let your guard down and really start chatting freely. We did. We do.

We continue to stay in touch on a daily basis. Sometimes phone calls, sometimes video chats. I think this is so funny: One night, during our video chat, my face froze on his phone and he imitated what it looked like with his face all twisted up…he cracked me up with how much it was bothering him. He said: “I can’t look at you like that.” First I told him not to look at it, while laughing so hard, and then I finally told him: “Hang up”, which he did. He then called back and we skipped the video portion of our call for that night.

There have been many pictures flying back forth between Ohio and myself. We have been learning a lot about each other. But Massachusetts and Ohio? Is this smart (Okay so I’m from the Boston area…that should be: Is this smaht? lol!) to even entertain the thought of? Can this really develop into something…that something special…that something that we are all looking for? Can it?

Presently, and very willingly, we are both putting time and effort into exploring this…should we be? Are we going to meet? I am a meet sooner than later girl…how would we do this? I DO want to know if we have THAT connection. I hate the thought of not being open to the possibility…What if?

What are some of the things that I am looking for? And please do tell me about yours! If I set the distance aside, what have I learned through our conversations so far about his traits lining up with my desires. Let’s think about this together…

SOME DESIRED TRAITS.

Honesty, Kindness, Self-Driven, Sense of Humor, Attraction: Mental and Physical.

What Does He Seem to Possess:

HONESTY. This I will surely learn more about over time. However, my initial impression is, that he is a fairly honest man. Some of the stories he has shared with me already, are not all pleasant, nor would I think easy to share…but he did. This speaks to me.

KINDNESS. I believe he is kind. He donates some of his time to working with youths that have no male role models at home. That is certainly an act of kindness. I will learn more about how kind of any individual he is, when I get to witness him interacting with others. You know about actions and words, and what you do when you think no one is watching.

SELF-DRIVEN. Yes. He appears to be very driven. I respect self-ignited motivation. He’s working a demanding 40+ hour a week job, rehabs houses and furniture, and even does a bit of masonry side work. I have seen several pictures of his furniture re-dos and he does some very fine work! I’m not sure where he finds enough hours in the day to do all that he does.

SENSE OF HUMOR. Yes. He makes me laugh. He makes me laugh a lot! Plus, he gets my, sometimes off beat, sense of humor. I believe I am an acquired taste and he makes it seem so easy.

ATTRACTION. Mentally: So far…yes. This one will take more time to know for sure. We are just in the early stages, and have only just begun to scratch any surfaces. We shall see. Physically: Yes! By picture and video, I am definitely attracted to this man. At 60, he’s a doll! We have more to learn about the depth of this attraction, as well. But THAT is a MUST be in person determination!

Well, it seems to me that this is worth further exploration. Don’t you agree? Do you have any similar stories to share? I’d love to hear them.

I will continue to keep you updated on Ohio. I am sure I will soon be tossing the logistics of our “potential” meet around in my head. The distance. The unknown. The presence of COVID. Hmmm?! Much to consider.

Until Next Week…Stay Safe, Healthy and Optimistic! Adrienne