Yes I am. I’ll update you momentarily on B1 (The Giver), and how I found myself back actively on BUMBLE. But right now, let’s focus on some dating. lol!

A few days ago, I sat down and started swiping. I actively tried to “swipe away” within me, any preconceived notions of what I was about to encounter.

The little blurred icon in the top left corner reflected there were 49 interested possible matches, but of course, I would have to PAY to see who they are. And you know I didn’t do that.

So, off I went. I need to confess, that I definitely have some “swiping” issues. Bathroom Pics? Sexy layin’ back on the bed pics?? How do you feel about those? I’m trying…I’m working on it. Also…I still can’t bring myself to swipe right on anyone that doesn’t put any effort into their profile.

I have lowered the bar with that one over time…but if they post nothing about themselves, beyond a picture, age and location…I don’t care HOW attractive they are…I swipe left. I know, I could be completely wrong here. However, it feels to me that it may be indicative of the effort they might put into other areas of their life. That’s just my take on it. What’s yours?

I did a lot of swiping left unfortunately. I do love to see eyes and smiles, likes and dislikes, and a cute little grandchild pic or two, doesn’t hurt either. Those are all more appealing than the bathroom and bedroom pics. And WTH is with the dirty house in the background pics? Do they not look at the pictures before they post them? I’ve actually seen food in beards. And what is with the Nasty/Dirty comments (Why do they do that?) contained within some profiles? Have you seen any?

I ended up swiping right on only three. They all seemed like very interesting gentlemen, and they all were mutual matches.

The First Mutual Match.

A construction manager, refreshingly, living less than 20 miles away from me. He had a simple, and honest appearing profile. We had some similar interests and some not so similar. I found myself interested in learning more. I must admit it was a picture of he and his grandson that moved my mind and hand to swipe right. It was a loving and adorable image of he sitting behind his grandson, as his grandson drove the boat.

He asked me to meet nearly immediately, which I did. It was an outdoor date, hiking through a popular local historical spot. We reached out to each other via BUMBLE messages when we arrived and agreed to meet at the booth where you pay for your parking pass.

I did recognize him. Well, kind of. Had we not planned our meeting spot, I’m not sure if I would have?! But since we met at the parking pass booth…I did.

The other thing that I did, was, pay for my own pass. I absolutely planned on doing that. I must admit though, that as the machine was having a bit of a time with reading my credit card, it did pass through my mind that he hadn’t offered, not even while I was having the difficulty with the machine. It did finally get squared away on my fourth try. I would have thought…

Anyway, back to the recognizing. His hair was not the same color as in the picture on his profile, nor was it the same style. No, the picture did not display a man with auburn hair and a “mushroom cut”. (I remember when my now grown son had one of those cuts…back in the day. He looked so adorable!)

He was a very chatty fellow. First elaborating on his job and desire to retire…and his boss’ resistance to that and the value that he held with the company. Then he went on sharing his love and pride of his four grown children and grandchildren (I must admit I loved his enthusiasm), and then he went on to tell me what a fabulous Mom they have. He continued on to say, how they have been apart now, for over 20 years, and then asked if I had a problem with the fact that they have yet to divorce. Hmmm. I was on a date with a technically married man. Great. Just great.

The Second Mutual Match.

He lives one state away. He’s a couple of years older than myself. Appeared well dressed in his pics and vibrant in his profile. Not much to tell here. I sent out a “hello type” note and referenced the state of the election and he wrote a pleasant note back thanking me for the mutual match, etc.. and mentioned how he was looking forward to future conversations with me.

I’ll admit, I’m not one to wait around with bated breath…taking days to correspond back and forth? Not for me. Short story, shorter…we NEVER had those future conversations.

The Third Mutual Match.

A psychologist with his own practice. A bit older than myself, with a charming profile and pictures. I sent your average pleasant opening message and I inquired on a particular photo. He responded a short while later.

He wrote very briefly something about himself, which was actually answering my question on the pic (it was regarding a piano) and then he went on with this lengthy write-up about his son, the musician. He shared his musical talents and various sites where I could take a listen (which I did and enjoyed) and he listed the songs that were his favorites, and how they moved him emotionally. I thought that it was sweet, but suspiciously overdone. It had me wondering, I must say.

Plus…He was only inquisitive in regards to…if I sang “professionally” (as he obviously saw the pic of me singing posted on my profile).

Now this may sound weird, but it has happened to me in the past, that people have tried to use me as a “connection” to people in the music industry. (I have been lucky to have performed with some amazing musicians, through the years. But I am far, from what would be considered a “musical connection”.) I was floored the first time it happened, but not the second…

This felt a little off to me, so I answered with: “I’ve been known to be paid for a gig or two! lol!” Then I went on with something like: “It’s more of a passion for me…” Yup, that sealed the deal. Again, WTH!! He wrote back: “It’s good to have passions. Have to run. Have a fun day.” And I never heard from him again. lol!!!!

SIDE NOTE: After writing this last entry, I got thinking, I wanted him to know, that I knew what he was up to, but in a nice way. Yes, I wrote to him and wished him luck with his search. I went on to tell him to keep promoting his talented son. (He should really do that in another fashion. But, no, I did not write that!) Then I asked him to tell his son, that you never know what’s around the next corner, and how I never thought that I would be gracing stages with the likes of…and I name dropped!!! Yes, I did. I named names of people I have been blessed to have performed with or did backup vocals or studio recordings for. Shame on me, right? Well, maybe. I told him his son is a very talented young man (He is.) and I’m sure he will go far. And I reminded him of how amazing and surprising, life can be. Oh yeah…he knows I have his number now.

Update on B1 (The Giver).

The recipients of The Givers acts of generosity, are definitely deserving and appreciative. There is no doubt, that this man, does some good work. And this, warms my heart.

However, I have learned that the “self-focus” that those charitable endeavors bring on…is very much desired (craved you might say) and if not enough “focus” is displayed, it’s kind of…whined about. I was so taken by the stories he had shared of his kindness to others, that I realize now, I kind of had blinders on.

The way he expects others to act toward him….Well, I am thinking now, that no one could possibly live up to the standards that The Giver is setting for others, in regards to himself. It would impossible to reach the bar he has set.

He has complained to me in conversations, about the people he works with (he did also have nice things to say), about the people that should’ve been working MORE with him on his philanthropic endeavors and verbally crushed those involved in stories that his friends would share.

There was no, however, sharing of experiences with him, where you could banter back and forth. He needed a listener. And I actually enjoyed being that, for awhile. But…Just a listener. You weren’t allowed to interject, at all. Even if perhaps, you had a similar experience, that you wanted to share something about. Personally, I think he is searching for something that isn’t and is missing out so much that is. Do you know what I mean?

You know the expression: It’s My Way or The Highway…? I now think I know who was the inspiration for penning that phrase. lol! Of course not…I kid, but really??!! The Giver…24/7.

I truly and honestly hope, he eases up on others, and even himself…someday. I see so much potential there, but he is not open enough to see himself clearly…never mind others. He needs to realize that people (yes, even himself) are not perfect. I want to remind him, that we sometimes do the wrong thing or say the wrong thing…but as long as our intentions are honorable and we mean well, and there is love in your heart…continue loving and give them and yourself a break.

I knew I couldn’t live up to those standards. And his present behavior, once my eyes were opened to it, was unacceptable and unattractive to me, so I didn’t even want to.

The whole thing, kind of made me sad, as I did see the potential and there were traits he possessed that appealed to me. I will have some very fond memories to hold close.

I hope he finds what it is he’s looking for one day. I know that clearly…it is not me.

BACK TO SWIPING FOR ME!

Take care everyone. Thank you for stopping by. Until next week…Adrienne