17. THERE’S A LOT TO LEARN FROM DOGS.

I was lucky enough to babysit my Grand-puppy this past week. He is the happiest and “lovey-est” dog I have ever encountered. And in my 62 years, I have owned and encountered a lot of dogs. To my point…the greeting that dog gives me at the door, is so enthusiastic and heart-warming!

Who on earth would want to be anywhere else in the world, when there is someone so happy and excited to have you there with them? Imagine if we greeted our mates, or our mates greeted us, in such a fashion. Wow!

I’m convinced there would be sex more often, in more random locations and at more random times! Man, if I had a mate that greeted me like that, I would do him, right then and there…on the kitchen floor, counter, couch, stairwell, whatever door I came it! Woohoo!

Sorry about that. I know, that was a bit crass. For effect though, as you know. But honestly, this “dog greeting” immediately sent me to that thought…Oh…If I had a “sweetie” that greeted me like this!

Dogs. They are so unassuming and genuinely happy to see you. They follow you in, and are agreeable to do whatever pleases you. Even if they smell another dog on you, they might check out the scent, but they are thrilled you are there and really don’t care where you have been prior. Loyalty like no other…Let’s admit it.

There’s no battle for the remote, any show will do. They use up only what space is free and available on the couch, and they don’t pull on the covers. Frankly, they are just pleased to be there…with you.

There are never any restaurant discussions or demands. Fact is, they are really not demanding, in any sense of the word…at all. They are simply happy with whatever you are offering them.

Dogs. They never monopolize the conversation. It’s never about them. Clearly in their eyes…it’s all about you. Best listeners EVER! And don’t you just love the way, they tilt their head and focus in on you…apparently understanding exactly what your point is. They are “there” for you…us…always.

Sometimes, their faces do look at you with a bit of desire in their eyes, but usually they are quite clear about that, and you know exactly what they are hoping for. And you know what? We want to give it to them, because they are not needy…only loving. No begrudging, we are pleased to accommodate.

I think there is some good “take-away” from the behaviors of dogs. Unlike the expressions such as: Being a dog. Or…He is such a dog. Or…What a dog! Right!? That unconditional love. Joy and appreciation of others. Acceptance. Many, very fine qualities.

Perhaps if we “focus in” a bit, on our finer qualities and try taking advantage of them, we might all share and reap some benefits.

**What Do Our Finer or Not Finer Qualities, Draw Out in Others?**

In discussing above, the qualities we possess, it reminded me of an experience Fitzy and I had. I believe it’s applicable here.

I had met a nice gentleman through Plenty of Fish (a site I tried only briefly at the suggestion of a friend that met her husband on there. We shall discuss that at a later date.). We had drinks and shared an appetizer and lengthy conversation. It was pleasant and very enjoyable.

We liked a lot of the same music and even were familiar with some of the same people. Despite there not being a “spark” between us, there was a “like”. He was seemingly honest, up front, open about his life and quite a gentleman.

One night, at my place, Fitzy and I were chatting. She seemed so sad about a recent date, that she had been so hopeful about, that unfortunately did not go well. She sounded as though she was getting date-discouraged. A lightbulb went off over and in my head!!!!!….I think I have a guy for you!

I proceeded to tell her about the guy from Plenty of Fish. Fitzy liked the sound of him. She was game! Good for her. Right?!

I contacted him, and sent pictures of her and the contact info that she had approved me giving him. He was sorry that we didn’t work out, but he wished me luck on my search and then thanked me for thinking of him for Fitzy. And Yes, he was also game! Woohoo, I thought. I also thought I was incredibly clever.

They got in contact with one another and were quite pleased with my suggestion. Through their conversations and picture sharing etc., Fitzy found him to be attractive, bright, funny and definitely someone she wanted to meet. Apparently the feeling was mutual, and they set up their first date. She also thanked me and told me she would fill me in on it after.

Fill me in, she did indeed! Seems the “gentleman” that “I” met, was not the “gentleman” that “she” met, at all. WTH! How could that be? WTH had I done. I felt terrible! How could her experience, be so completely different from mine?

She told me how he had made rude and suggestive comments that offended her and actually made an aggressive move to get intimate. I apologized profusely to Fitzy and she assured me, that she did not blame me in any way for this. They were adults and the same thing most likely would have happened, had they crossed each others path online, on their own.

She must have really set him straight on their date as he promptly also contacted me, to apologize…to me, for their date gone wrong! Weird huh?

What does our behavior, our particular traits or idiosyncrasies draw out in others? Is it that? Interesting don’t you think? That two women, who are close friends, could experience, two completely different behaviors from the same man. Or, are we not even aware of some of the signals that we send?

I would love to be “a fly on the wall” and witness a date. See what I observe and then each of us, tell the story of the date, and see how similar they are or aren’t. I would be willing to allow someone to witness one of my dates and report on it as well.

Hmmmm! What a thought. What do you think about that?

BUMBLE: Update On The Giver.

Contact between B1 (The Giver) and I has definitely slowed down. After I offered to remove myself, so he may focus on he and his busy schedule and ever-growing commitments and he asked me not to…I readdressed our current state of affairs by bringing up being non-exclusive.

Its odd…we never really discussed being exclusive in the first place. But I felt uncomfortable considering going on a date with someone else without being honest about it.

Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t want to hear about his other dates. I want to be open about the fact, that it is an option, while we are in the early stages and seeing each other so infrequently. Deceit doesn’t sit well with me and not discussing it, makes it feel that way…deceitful.

Being at a distance (a physical distance) is difficult enough and not having open dialog, creates an additional distance. And yes, now we are more distant than ever…me throwing exclusivity (or lack thereof) out there, was like a heavy, wet, cold, blanket. Less calls, less sweet names and certainly less talk about our next get together. Some people need to be the driver. Make all the calls, make all the decisions. Yeah…I had a feeling about this one.