PREFACE.

This week’s blog presented itself to me, when I heard: “Well, first let’s see where this is headed.”

This was in response to a discussion B1 (The Giver) and I were having about how we both enjoy weekend getaways, and my ending it with: “We should do that sometime.” …Where this is headed? Well, of course, it’s still early, we wouldn’t know where this is headed yet, now would we? But why say that?

I would have thought, his response might have been something more in line with: “Oh perhaps.” Or “That might be nice.” Or “Let’s revisit that when Covid’s over.” Or even: “Let’s!” Whether we ever do or not.

I was thinking, you’ve invited me to your bed (No I didn’t.)? Hmmm? The same guy that responded with “…where this is headed?” See folks, both men and women can at times, send mixed messages. That is not a habit owned solely by one gender.

This statement is coming from the same guy that calls me Babe and My Girl and told me: “I’ve discontinued engaging anyone on Bumble. You have melted me”. And…Talked about going to a ballgame next year and making a night of it, getting a room and staying in Town. Isn’t that kind of the same thing as I suggested?

Now to be fair here…on the flip side, mind you, THIS REACTION is coming from the same girl…ME…that just last week (after getting together a couple of more times with GIVER, and actually spending a day at his home) said: (in response to a conversation we were having about his busy schedule…when I felt a door open that I wanted to walk through) “I think maybe, for at least right now, we should remove me from the equation and you should just focus on you and all that you have to tend to.” (Yes I did.) Which he quickly responded: “Oh no. NO, I don’t want that!” In that moment, I did.

I wanted to feel open to opportunity or maybe even available and open to dating others. What does that tell me? I really like GIVER. I am definitely attracted to him as well. He really is a fabulous human being, but the pace feels wrong, the maintenance (if you know what I mean) feels wrong and there are mixed messages and mixed feelings.

I wanted to talk to him again about it last night, but he was working on a project, and I knew if I went “there” it would distract him from it’s completion. It is my intent to “go there” today. So there you have it, that’s what brought me here and brings me to my own review of the M.A.Y.B.E. and M.A.G.I.C. of Dating. It’s got me thinking. It’s got me thinking about some other things too.

Like…The Following Statements:

“Too Good To Be True.”

What’s with that anyway? Too good to be true? Sounds like an excuse to me. Maybe if that thought actually goes through your head, because something doesn’t feel quite right, well…maybe then.

I have heard stories about the great loves of peoples lives and how they feel blessed to have been in, or be in, that partnership. I remember hearing from one sweet woman, how she wakes every morning and thanks the Lord that she gets to wake up next to her husband. The love of her life! She went on to tell me about what a great man he is. I believed every word she said. I weep as I type this. It wasn’t too good to be true. It was true.

“Love Will Find You When You Stop Looking.”

There exists various forms of this statement. You know, like, when you aren’t looking, when you least expect it, etc. I do believe, I understand that this probably stems from, letting things happen naturally. Really though…I can say with some certainty, that No one is going to find me in my living room sitting on the couch. No one new is going to be banging down my door to take me out.

I do believe and agree that we shouldn’t be trying too hard to make something happen or work that isn’t right…that isn’t meant for us. Let’s think about this for a moment. If our eyes and hearts aren’t open…can we see love, can love come in? Keep those eyes OPEN.

“It’s Always In The Last Place You Look.”

LOL! This one, well it just plain cracks me up! Well, OF COURSE IT IS!!! WTH!!! Once you find IT…WHY, would you look anywhere else?? lol!

Okay, so let’s go see what you and I think about where we stand with the M.A.Y.B.E. and M.A.G.I.C. of Dating.

FIRST…ARE THEY EVEN A M.A.Y.B.E.?

We MEET. We were lucky enough to accomplish this partial first step to M.A.Y.B.E. It could be through friends, work, relatives, online, ads, walking around donning your “I’m Single” tee shirt…whatever the fashion, we MEET !

We chat, we go through the usual course of conversation and mutually evaluating. Is this a good MEET? If we think so, then we’re now fully on the first step to M.A.Y.B.E., right?

Are we now interested to learn more about them? Are we attracted to them? Whether it be on a physical level, or intellectual, or possibly spiritual…on whatever level…are we feeling the ATTRACTION? If we do, feel the attraction, and it is strong enough to want to explore more, then it seems to me, we’ve found ourselves on the next step to M.A.Y.B.E.

Do we desire to take this MEET further? Can we hear ourselves saying YES, I would like to spend more time with this person? Yes, I want what this is…to continue. Yes? If so, then, I’m thinking we’re another step on our way to M.A.Y.B.E.

As we open ourselves up to learning more about them, do we start to BELIEVE they may possess the traits and qualities that we are looking for in a possible partner? If so, it certainly is starting to sound like an almost M.A.Y.B.E.!!

Now for the EVIDENCE…have they shown they DO in fact, possess the qualities we are looking for? Is the interest to learn, continuing? Are we finding ourselves more and more attracted? Yes? Ahhh…a definite M.A.Y.B.E.

Could This Be More? Could This Possibly Be M.A.G.I.C.?

We’ve been lucky enough to make it to the M.A.Y.B.E. stage. Now of course we will probably encounter many, many, many…M.A.Y.B.E.s along the way, before we ever encounter the M.A.G.I.C. Ideally, we all get to experience the M.A.G.I.C., however, there are no guarantees.

I do believe it feels a bit like MAGIC, when it’s right. How do we determine if indeed this could be M.A.G.I.C.? Hmmm? When the pieces fit?

Some people describe it as butterflies in their belly, others say they saw stars, some say they had that feeling, or describe it as an aching…and since I have been lucky enough to have experienced it in the past, I know exactly what they mean. I would describe it as: It took my breath away.

That balance of, enough in common to share, and enough different, to learn. When someone feels like, just your right MATCH. My Mom refers to the MATCH as: the rocks in his head fitting the holes in hers. Cute, right? I think so.

Now, Let’s be on our way to finding the M.A.G.I.C.

MAYBE this could be the one? Still yet to know. At this point, we would be working on finding that out. And we all know, we are not going to agree on everything. Right? How we handle that, will say a lot. But the AGREE that I am really referring to here, is that both parties obviously AGREE that together is where it feels like they belong. And that is where we need to AGREE and need to be…on our next step toward the M.A.G.I.C.

Hopefully, the more time we get to spend together the more we can identify the existence of potential M.A.G.I.C., and the growth over time. Are we headed in the same direction? Can we feel it? Did we GROW? GROW together? If we have, this feeling should be speaking to us. Is it speaking of possible M.A.G.I.C.?

With the more time, and the more identifying…the more all our emotions INTENSIFY. And that can be a wonderful thing. It can also be the opposite. But if it is wonderful, and we can feel them INTENSIFY, and it’s that kind of intensity, that draws in our hearts, and fills them with joy…it could be the M.A.G.I.C.

Are we finding ourselves yearning to share and appreciate every moment we are allowed? Are we now existing in that place where we find our days improved just by the others presence? Are we feeling the other’s COMMITMENT as much (if not more) by their actions as their words?

Let’s ask ourselves: “Have we found the M.A.G.I.C. ?”

GIVER and I, are only part-way through the journey of M.A.Y.B.E. and that may be interrupted by today’s conversation. Ahhh, we shall see. My eyes and heart are open…and so is my mind…My Dating Mindset, is still being refined.

Have a wonderful week. Stay safe, healthy, happy and inquisitive. Until next Thursday…Take Care, Adrienne