15. YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY ABOUT ASSUMING.

I was going over some notes and came across a couple of stories I had jotted down to share with you, at a later date. Well, I think today, is that later date. I got a chuckle out of revisiting them in my memory. It is my hope, that they give you a chuckle too. Can’t we all use a chuckle these days?!!

The first story is about a date I had a few years back, with a friend of a friend, and the whole “WHAT??!!” of that situation. The second story, ends with a funny conversation “re-live” between Jackson (J3 Mr Delicious) and I, and the had I “Done Him Wrong?” of it. I do hope you enjoy them. Please feel free to share yours.

DINNER AND A MOVIE.

One night, I was singing at a fairly well-known local club. I had been offered the job (and accepted) to sing backup vocals for a popular regional band that was opening for a National Act there. And what a fun night it was! The place was packed. The show was great. The audience was awesome, over-the-top attentive and generous!! Drinks and compliments were flying at us!

One of each, came from this guy, rockin’ a slick leather jacket, hair to his waist and a smile that lit the path between us. (Okay, that just sounded incredibly corny, and a bit like trouble. But you know where I’m coming from.) I remembered having seen him in a bro-hug and then chatting with a musician friend of mine earlier, and assuming them friends. He came over with the drink and an introduction. The conversation flowed easily. Let’s call him C2 (Smiles).

Smiles and I pretty much hung out for most of the remainder of the night. He told me that he was in the music business as well, in various fashions. Played guitar, had a studio, gigged with sound and lights, etc. We shared all kinds of music stories and it ended up that we knew many, many of the same people.

I learned that he was also a car enthusiast. Did I mention I LOVE cars and motorcycles? So we also shared some car stories. I had a blown engine GTO story (broke both our hearts) and my favorite ride ever…my Mach I Mustang. Loved that car. Taken too early. (I’ll share details of that story in a moment.) He was telling me about his most recent car purchase…his Charger. It sounded fast, gorgeous and pampered. He told me how he was keeping it garaged at his home. Which he also went on to tell me about. It sounded as though my 643 sq ft condo could fit inside his living room. lol!

Smiles generously helped me pack all my belongings from the gig into my car after the venue closed. We chatted for a short while longer by my car and he did ask me for my number as we said goodbye. Since he was friends with my friend, and I had felt comfortable in conversation with him, I honored his request and gave him my number. I drove home looking forward to hearing from him.

He actually called me that night, to make sure I arrived home safely (Wasn’t that thoughtful?) and to ask if I would like to go out the following weekend. He said: “Perhaps dinner and a movie.” We agreed to discuss details of the date, later in the week.

He did call a couple of days later. He told me how much he enjoyed our conversation and meeting me and wanted to take me someplace really special. He listed movie choices and we selected one mutually agreeable.

I wasn’t set (if you know what I mean) on having Smiles pick me up at my place. I liked him well enough, but was not ready to give him my address. Or for possibly ending up in an uncomfortable position of feeling obligated to invite him in. (Now there’s a topic. No one should ever feel “obligated”.)

I decided to offer to meet him at the restaurant, and asked for the address. With excitement in his voice, he asked me if I ever heard of “Chunky’s”. Yes, I had. Have you?

For those of you that haven’t…Chunky’s is a unique theater where you sit in seats from Lincoln Towncars and choose food from a movie themed menu. You know, such things as burgers, sandwiches, chicken fingers, etc., named applicably to mirror the movies currently showing. For those of you that have heard of Chunky’s…you’re laughing, right? Yes, it can be a fun place. It made me laugh, because my ex-husband and I would take our children there when they were younger.

I kind of had my head wrapped around something more like a fine dining experience. What could I say? “Cough, cough, I think I might be coming down with something?“ Nahhh…he’s friends with my buddy. So Chunky’s it would be.

Smiles was in the lobby when I arrived that Saturday, on time, at Chunky’s. He was complimentary and surprisingly appeared a bit nervous. We went in, got our seats, ordered sandwiches as I recall, and watched the movie. There was minimal conversation, compared to the night at the club. He was oddly different. Couldn’t really put my finger on it.

When the movie the was over, I assumed so was our evening together. After all…Dinner and a Movie. We walked outside and he asked where my car was parked. I pointed it out, assuming he was politely walking me to it. Nope. That was not the case.

He walked with me alright, but he proceeded to walk around the other side of the car. I asked: “Where is your car parked?” And he replied: “In my garage at home.” “What?” I said. He went on to tell me, that he walked the two miles to the theater. WTH??!! Did he walk there to force me to have to drive him home? I wanted to tell him to do just that…BACK! To this day, when I think about this, as I am right now, my mouth still drops open.

When we pulled into the driveway, Smiles opened his garage and asked to show me his car. It was beautiful, but I was still too busy shaking my head about the whole “drive me home” thing to fully appreciate it.

He proceeded to invite me into his home, but I told him I thought I should hit the road. He went on to say something about, can’t you just take a minute to check out my studio? Please. You’re going to love it! Yup. I did it. I went in.

When I went up the stairs and arrived in his living room, I thought THIS is HIS living room? Where am I? The curtains, couch and chairs were all floral…you know that “ancient” floral? There were doilies (are you familiar with doilies? They are kind of, ornamental mats. Generally crocheted, and used for decoration and minimal protection.) on the backs of all of them. Artificial flowers and what do they call those things…Tchotchkes? (chach keys?) …everywhere! Really, where the hell was I? And there was dust, thick, on everything.

Smiles walked me into his “studio”. His studio? A mostly empty room, with a guitar in the corner. Nothing much more than an additional plastic bin and a box, that I recall, and desk with a computer on it. He went on to tell me, excitedly, that he had the garageband app. Really? Where was I and what was I doing? Then he said something about his Mom being gone for the weekend...and I felt this smile coming on, and well, not much more to share here, but I headed home.

SIDE NOTE (1): My Mach I Mustang…a young man driving his grandfather’s dumptruck, took a corner too tight and drove over the nose of my car. YES…drove right over it and crushed it to the ground. A kind woman waited in her car, hoping for me to come out to mine, to share the story of what she witnessed happen, and to let me know, that the dump truck was parked right up the street. (found the paint chips off my car in the wheel well. WTH!!) That was so considerate of her! I cried like a baby. The even sadder end to this story is…my boss at the time, was close friends with the grandfather. He begged me not to go after them, as the grandson was on his pink slip.

I’M SORRY I DATED YOUR FRIEND.

I may get censored over this one. I’ll try to behave myself. This took place, around three years ago, I believe.

I was out at a local club watching a band I know, when I spotted a woman who was a friend of my friend Coco. (Not doing too well with that, whole friend of a friend thing, am I?). She was across the way, sitting at the bar, chatting with a guy, I had never seen before.

She waved me over and proceeded to introduce me to him. She said: “You two should have a lot in common. He is in a band as well.” Let’s call him “Mark”.

Mark began telling me how he was there checking out the club for his band. They had been booked for the next week and it was to be their first time there. So he was seeing what the crowd draw was, as well as what music was being played. He was a very funny guy. He was cracking jokes and over the top flirtatious, but not obnoxious.

She was right. We did hit it off. He asked me for my number and asked if I wanted to maybe meet him there the following week. I said yes. After all, I had enjoyed myself and definitely had several laughs and we did have common interests and friends. I actually met him once, before the gig and then went to his band’s gig.

SIDE NOTE (2): Mark told me that after his band had played that club, and he had invited me, and the girl who introduced us, saw us together…that she contacted him through Facebook and blasted him out over us. She told him what a nerve he had bringing me, and basically what a bitch and tramp I was to go out with him. I said to Mark: “I thought she was introducing us for that reason! And her being friends with my friend Coco, and her being friend’s with you, is what made me feel comfortable enough to say “yes” to going out with you, in the first place!” He said: “My friend? I had never met her before in my life! I just met her a few minutes before meeting you!” WTH??!! How do I get myself into these things? Then I was thinking…why did she introduce us? And why was she bitching him out? I asked him what he thought about that. He said: “Well, she Facebook friended me immediately that night, and I guess, when I sent out invitations to FB friends to go to the club to see our band play, she thought it was a special invitation for her? Or maybe she is just a little crazy!!”

We went out a couple of more times. However, the more I got to know him, the more I thought this would never develop into anything. The more comfortable he got with me, the more I got to see, that he had a negative side about him, that I didn’t catch right away.

One day, while Mark and I were chatting on the phone on my ride home he asked me how I knew Jackson. I replied with: “How do you know I do?” He said: “I saw that you are friends with him on Facebook.” I said: “Yes, well, we’ve dated.” “You did? How long?”, he asked. And: “Were you serious?” I replied with: “We’ve been out a few times. Why do ask?” He said: “What’s a few?” I said: “I don’t know, maybe a dozen. Why?” He was like: “We have been friends for years. We grew up together.” I was thinking….Noooooooooooo!!! I don’t date friends. Not since high school days. Relatives, friends, it never works out. At least not where I am concerned. I said: “Well damn it!” He asked: “What’s wrong?” I said: “I can’t date friends.” He went on with: “Are you still dating Jackson?” I told him: “We occasionally go out. And yes, I would still like to go out with him again in the future.” He said: “Well then, date the both of us!” “I can’t do that.” I replied. “I’m so sorry, I had no idea”. Of course I didn’t.

Now you know what I had to do next, right??? You guessed it. I had to tell Jackson before Mark did. Because, I felt that was the right thing to do. I called him that night and asked if we could get together. I told him that I needed to talk to him about something. (And this definitely needed to be done in person.)

We met for a cocktail and Jackson had the strangest look on his face. He never greeted me like that before. He was like: “Are you okay? Are you good?” Turns out, he thought I was going to tell him some unfortunate medical news (knock on wood, that is never to be the case…) and was relieved that was not the case.

“So what is going on?” He asked. “What did you need to talk to me about?” I said: “Let me preface this with…I did not know he was your friend.” “Who? And what are you trying to say?” Jackson asked. “Mark.” “Oh don’t tell me, he asked you out?” “Yes.” “You didn’t?” “I did.” Jackson then said: “This is not the first time this has happened. He’s not your type at all.” “I know that now.”

There was a long moment of silence…All of a sudden, Jackson’s face looked horrified, and he said: “You didn’t have sex with him, did you?” “No.” I replied. “Oh good”, he replied. Then…“Oh no, did you give him a BJ?” (lol! that was even hard to type without laughing) “I did not.” I said with a smile. “Oh that’s good”, Jackson said relieved. Then he paused and got the saddest look on his face and said: “Oh My God, you didn’t cook for him, did you??” I laughed out loud. That cracked me up. I replied, that I hadn’t. And Jackson let out sigh and said: “Oh Thank God!!”