Second Date. What’s On Our Plate.

S1 and I decided, that since the restaurant we met at the first time, worked so well, we would meet there again. I got caught in “everything” on the way down…detours, traffic, accidents (other people’s), bad weather….I left early and I still knew, there was no way, I was going to arrive there on time.

I called S1 to let him know what I was experiencing. He had just arrived. He asked where I was. When I told him I was 10 exits away (approximately 25-30 minutes), he responded with: “Well…I guess I can wait for you.” OMG. It never even occurred to me, that he might not! Is there a “no wait” rule that I don’t know about? How long would you wait? Or would it be based upon the reason? I apologized and thanked him. (Hmmm…) He continued on to say he would get himself seated and order himself a drink.

I was there in 20 minutes. Since S1 had arrived 15 minutes early and we had a 15 minute window for arrival, technically I ended up only being 5 minutes late. But, YES, I am usually the one to arrive early. I like to get there, get comfortable and relax. Do you do that?

No visual surprises for me this time! Maybe for him though…It was pouring out when I arrived. I must have looked just awful!

We spent another, pleasant and interesting, 3 hours together. The conversation flowed and the time flew. He felt a bit more engaged. I had decided to go into the second date open-minded and let go of what was ultimately taking up space in my mind. I was not going to bring up, any of it. Though HE did bring up the “intimate” discussion.

Now, I am going to preface this with a “Shame on Me”, before I even get started telling you about it. I almost laughed out loud when he said: “Well now, since I know the one thing that you don’t like, and everything that you do like, we at least know we are on the same page when it comes to sex.” I was like: “You know EVERYTHING that I like?” He was like….“Yes, you told me both!” (BOTH?? He was kidding, right?! Am I missing something? You DO have more than TWO things that YOU like, right??? The list could go on and on, don’t you think?) Anyway, I had to use everything, yes everything, in my power to hold myself together, to not bust out laughing. I said: “Both??? You think I only like two things?” He said: “Well, what else is there?” I am telling you…at this point, I am like dying laughing inside. I was thinking…honest to God, is he messin’ with me? Come on, is this for real? It was killing me. I tried to divert the conversation from this topic. I’m not the only one that thinks this is funny, right?!?

Overall, it was actually a very nice evening and I was walking away from it thinking about how I knew I would be seeing him again. Also chuckling a bit thinking about when we do get to the “SNEXT” level, what an eye-opener it may be for him!!! I was hoping it might be the other way around…as I am open and anxious for possibly learning, and some new and interesting experiences. Never too old to learn a thing or two!

SIDE NOTE (1): I did catch a glimpse of the two of us in a reflection on a window, while walking out side by side. Yes, S1 is taller than I am, but not a chance near 5’8″.

He did walk me to my car, and we did have that first kiss. (Then I quarantined from my family.) It wasn’t too long, but it was telling. I was hoping for some “toe curling”. But it felt a bit uncomfortable. There was no accompanying holding, no lip relaxing, no breathy exchange, no tinge of sensual anticipated excitement. I blamed it on first kiss nerves. His. Apparently I was wrong about that. As later, I received a call from S1 and he referenced it as a great kiss. OMG. My Bad Boy J3, (Delicious J3. You remember him, right?!) should give classes. Everyone should be exchanging elevated kisses! (I’m telling you…there would be “socks shooting off of feet”, in parking lots, all over America!)

Still working on a new Dating Mindset here.

The calls and texts from S1 then starting coming in fast and furious and the “when are we getting together next talks”. We even discussed my going out to the island with him, but not with the expectation of sex, with merely it creating an opportunity for us, to learn how we would interact together in an “everyday type” environment. (actually, my idea) Not in a restaurant. Preparing meals, hanging at the beach, working on a project, just hanging out, etc. Yes, exploring the possibilities.

BUT THEN…BUZZ.

Now, I know I mentioned that S1 and I originally met on a dating site. That was actually on Match.com. However, I’m not sure if I mentioned that he is still on there, along with being on BUMBLE. I never questioned him about it, but occasionally he would mention it. I am interested to hear how this would sit with you.

One night after I got together (social distancing of course) with a couple of girlfriends of mine, and chatting it up with them about their guys and dating…it got me thinking. AS THOUGH I DON’T ALREADY THINK TOO MUCH. REALLY…as if I need a TRIGGER for that!! lol!

Anyway, one of the gals, let’s call her Mitzy, has been seeing the same guy for nearly four years now. They have a non-conventional relationship setup, that ideally works for them. They don’t live together, but see each other one evening during the week and spend their weekends together. They are both fabulous people. There is an abundance of respect and appreciation and love there.

The other gal, let’s call her Fitzy, is seeing a new guy. It’s not destined to be a long term relationship as he is moving, but they are thoroughly enjoying their time together. The guy she had been seeing before was someone she met and liked very much (for awhile) on BUMBLE. Yes, BUMBLE…I was just getting acquainted and warmed up to it.

SIDE NOTE (2): Fitzy told me about this funny exchange she had with a guy on BUMBLE. They had gone from writing messages to agreeing to chat on the phone. Until she got: In a dirty voice: “So Fitzy…what are you wearing?” She ended the call, but wished she had answered: “Ahhhh khakis…?” (like Jake from State Farm) lol!

When I got home from being with the girls, S1 was curious about our night. He sure did love to hear “girl” stories. I gave him a brief overview. He seemed most interested in hearing about Fitzy’s dating stories. I mentioned BUMBLE and of course referenced her and I on there and he immediately went into this whole thing about…I’m glad you are, you should be, you should be seeing what’s out there and making sure you know what you want, etc. etc. etc. (That just felt like The King & I.) He even made suggestions for setting my filters. I hadn’t even done all that I could in that area, I guess. I had mixed feelings on his reaction.

That was quickly the beginning of the end. Apparently what is “Good for the Goose is NOT Good for the Gander”.

Every time we spoke again, he would ask me about BUMBLE. I never asked him about his sites. But he couldn’t help himself. I wasn’t even doing much with it. I was more focused on a new Dating Mindset with him. I asked him to please stop asking me about it. Our conversations were never the same. Shorter, skipped, about anything but us. He seemed less upbeat and more focused on his solo endeavors. It was like the flip of a switch.

I lost interest and as far as I was concerned, I think I was having to try too hard to FEEL THIS in the first place. I told him how I felt the change immediately, and how as long as we were both entertaining others on dating sites, we shouldn’t be moving as quickly as a visit to the island. This lead to…what are you trying to tell me here? There you have it. S1 wasn’t THAT guy. I don’t walk away from this one, feeling like I missed something right in front of me or that I didn’t give it the chance it deserved. He wasn’t the one.

I do want the ONE. He’s out there somewhere. We just need to find each other.

BUMBLE Progress.

Limited. I continue on the BUMBLE Bee-Line. There are less options than I had expected. I have adjusted the filters to try to broaden the search. I did the required, woman reaches out first messages. Now mind you, in order to be able to message them, they had to have already swiped right on me.

I heard back from 9 out of the 10 instant matches. (makes you wonder about the 10th and why they swiped right) Three I had seen on Match.com and corresponded with previously. One of which I had actually gone on a date with…C1 from my Reach Outs!! Yes, he is totally a “serial dater”. An incredibly interesting, bright, attractive and engaging…serial dater. lol!! That’s a permanent “No-go!” Another one of them, and this is funny…told me he’s a Dentist. But the last time we communicated, on Match.com…he told me he was a Veterinarian. What the hell!!!?

I won’t go into each and every match up, but it basically got brought down to one guy. We messaged back and forth and are planning a get together. I will certainly fill you in next week.

COVID Dating. Oh My My.

Not only is dating at 50, 60 & Beyond not as simple as it was at say…20, 30 or 40…but dealing with COVID-19, it feels like getting tested for strength, endurance and creativity all at the same time! Good thing I am always up for a challenge. Are you?? Tell me about your challenges and how you prepare for them.

Enjoy your week. Until next Thursday. Take care of yourselves!