Hi Everyone. Did you do any…Reaching Out? Reconnecting? Revisiting? I am anxious to hear reports from your end. I am happy to say, that I did do my homework. The results varied. I figure the best way to report, will be on a case-by-case (person-by-person) basis, shall we say. So here we go…

The REVISITS (RV)

Let’s start with the “Revisits”. The three possible conversions from the “Friend Zone”. I would like to preface this by saying, this was not as easy doing, as it was writing about. When you have thought of someone as a friend only, for me at least, it’s a breeze to pick up the phone or shoot out a text message. However, when you are trying to wrap your head around considering them as something otherwise, you (or at least I have been) play out all these new scenarios in your head. Despite that, I did reach out to all three. Unfortunately, there is not much to report yet on that front. Here is what has transpired:

The First (RV) of the Three

D1. He actually lives locally. I kind of did the unthinkable with this one. I would not recommend this to anyone. But here goes. I was out walking with a friend (this is sticky too) and we ended up cutting our walk short. Due to intense heat, she (my walking partner) asked if we could change our route to get home quicker. That worked for me! I felt like I was melting. Anyway, we ended up actually cutting through the backlot of the condos where D1 lives. Yes…I sent D1 a text: “Are you home? Are you in there?? If you are, you should look out your window/balcony (I didn’t actually know which unit was his, only it’s approximate location), you’ll have company.”

Son of a gun, moments later, a window slid open and that friendly face hung out. The three of us chatted it up a bit. All catching up, as our Friday night meet ups, have been on hold through the COVID-19 Pandemic.

SIDE NOTE: Dating During COVID IS NOT EASY!

The “sticky” I referenced above is, that my walking partner, my friend…has been interested in D1 (in a casual sort of way). She is in his “Friend Zone” though. It was hard for me (as I do not ever want to hurt someone’s feelings) to mention to her that he had asked me out. But I had to, especially if I was going to possibly consider pursuing the elevation of D1 from the “Friend Zone”.

When I told her, she said that she was no longer feeling the same about him. Perhaps that was distance and COVID related or the fact that she has been back dating an old boyfriend. Whatever the reason may be, that was good to hear.

Anyway, back to our visit with D1. It was a fairly short chat there. You could tell he was definitely surprised to see us, but he seemed sincerely pleased. I did think that I would hear from him after that, but I didn’t. I followed up a few days later with a text message. I have not heard back. This is unusual.

The Second (RV) of the Three

J1. I reached out to J1 by phone, as he does not text. Imagine that? I left him a message, and then a couple of days later, he left me one. I returned that call and left him another message. Phone tag it is!

The Third (RV) of the Three

J2. I need to be honest here; I only just reached out to him today. I have been hesitant about this one. I am going to tread lightly. I have been questioning myself on the possible transition of J2. I have been asking myself; Am I overthinking? I tend to do that. Do you? Do you think that holds you back? I think it has for me in the past. Sorry, I digress. I left J2 a message via Facebook. We are both on there for music related endeavors frequently, so it felt like a casual approach. I have not heard back from him yet.

The REACH OUTS

The First (RO) of the Four

M1. I sent M1 a text message, basically checking on how he was doing and what he had been up to. He quickly responded and pretty much inquired on the same of me. He mentioned he had not been particularly motivated to do much besides going to work lately, but thought he may venture out on his motorcycle (like J1, also a bike owner) for some cooler evening rides. I figured that door was open so…I extended an invitation to come by if his ride were to bring him to my area. He responded with: I’ll keep that in mind, I ride around there once in awhile.” Hmmm?? I’m not sure what I think about that? What about you?

The Second (RO) of the Four

M2. I also contacted M2 by text. He has always been a BIG “TEXTER”. I thought since we initially met through work, that I should make him aware that I am no longer employed there. That opened the door for text exchanging and eventually an invitation to get together sometime for a drink, so I could tell him what happened. I replied: “Thank you. I’d love to get together sometime.” I have not heard back yet in regards to setting a time to meet.

I AM GOING TO DO THE LAST TWO OUT OF ORDER…

The Fourth (RO) of the Four

C1. I sent C1 a text message. I started with something like: I hope you remember me and then continued on to inquire how he has been. It took a day to receive a response. He said that of course, he remembered me! He filled me in on the progress of the project he had been working on when we met and then went on to ask me how I have been.

I too, kept it pretty much at generic pleasantries…until one of his text messages contained the word “we”…as in, he and someone. Okay, I figured the door was open to inquire if he had found someone. Had he found someone special enough to give up his, what appeared to me to be…power dating? So I asked: “…You referenced “we” will be done…did you give up the casual dating and find someone special?” He quickly responded that he was referring to his niece, though he did not elaborate. I said, that was nice that they were working together, and then apologized for my curiosity. Have not heard back yet. I suppose I could have handled that differently.

The Third (RO) of the Four

S1. The one I’ve never met in person. This is the most unusual situation for me. However, that message that the dating site forwarded to me, I must admit, was intriguing. Especially since I was previously quite interested and actually disappointed that we never ended up meeting.

So yes, I considered breaking my own rules, and made a deal with myself. My deal was: I would look to see if I still had the message that S1 had sent to me while I was chatting with him on the dating site that contained his telephone number. If I had it, I would break my own rule about telephone contact before meeting, and reach out to him. If I didn’t have that message with the number, I WOULD NOT go back on the dating site specifically for this. (Of course, maybe sometime in the future, I may be back on there.)

Guess What…I not only still had that message, I still had screen shots of his profile info and pictures. I was truly interested in meeting this man! A deal is a deal. I sent S1 a text with a screen shot of the message that the dating site sent me from him and asked: “…Did you write me this?…Before I say anything further, I want to make sure it was in fact you.” A short while later he responded with a resounding “yes”, and inquired if I now had a significant other. When I replied I didn’t. He asked if he could call me.

S1 and I have been chatting and texting ever since. We have had many lengthy, informative, interesting and quite often, incredibly funny conversations. We’ve even exchanged selfies!

Apparently it is a trust issue for him. Brought on by two previously bad experiences. I am sorry that he or anyone for that matter ever has to be put in a situation that causes them to feel that way. I had an ex-boyfriend cheat on me. I can relate. I can also understand the fear of repeat. I do know that we are all different and process things differently. However, personally, I could not allow that to paralyze me. And, I am not the two previous women. I am not a cheat. Honesty is at the top of my list, and that encompasses loyalty and trustworthiness. I feel like a bit of a baby and novice dater here…it brought tears to my eyes immediately when I heard his words.

S1 suggested that we talk again later, but thinks perhaps we should put off meeting this week, until another time. I told him I didn’t know what difference, scheduling a different time, would make. If he truly believes my performing is going to be an issue for him, that he wouldn’t be able to handle, we should just say our goodbyes now, be grateful for what we did get to learn about each other and wish the other luck in finding love. I must admit I was blind-sided and shockingly saddened by it. He asked if we could please speak later. I agreed.