Yes, it’s time to re-think with a truly open mind. If it is to be an “all in” arrangement now, it needs to be just that. Horizons need to be expanded, priorities may need reconsidering or revisings and some expectations may need re-evaluating. Beauty they say (you know “they”) is in the eye of the beholder, and I agree. Beauty has such depth though. Most often, I believe, beyond the eye. One’s heart, soul, drive, generosity of self, etc…all need to be viewed on so many levels.

I have kicked my Checklist into high gear. Well, at least 6 of the 8 suggested points. I have made a valiant effort in maintaining and hopefully radiating positive energy. I take a moment to think about how I am presenting myself to the world, each time I walk out my door. Am I feeling like my better self…am I getting close??? No matter whose company I am in, I try to give them my full attention and absorb what they have to share. I know changes will inevitably not happen overnight, so I am being patient. I have to admit, I have gotten some truly pleasant and sometimes surprising responses from some “smile flashing“, shall we say. And each smile was sincere in both directions. I feel myself, feeling better. Kind of an inside/outside glow thing happening. Have you tried anything? Please share if you have. Now, I’m onto the remaining 2 points of the “8 to Try” on my Checklist…“Reaching Out and Revisiting”.

Getting My Dating Ducks in a Row

Now…to think about those considered or newly reconsidered potentials. There are guys that I have dated in the past, or have wanted to date. And there are guys that I may find myself still currently interested in, but wish they seemed as interested in finding out if there could be more, as I am. These are my REACH OUTs. And then there are the guys that I have previously said “no” to their date invitations. Generally, the ones that I could only (at the time) find myself, thinking of them as friends. What was I thinking…or not thinking? We hear stories about “friends” falling in love, a lot! My Mom did just that. These are my REVISITs.

So that you may follow along with me on my journey, I will tell you a little about them, (the Reach Outs & Revisits…with alias code names of course, to protect the innocent or guilty, lol!) such as how we met, about our encounter/s and then keep you informed on progress (or lack there of). Then together we can see what happens NEXT!

My REACH OUTs (RO)

Currently, there are only three men I have a strong interest in, and one, that I am just being openly curious about. The three, have all (at one time or another) shown some mutual interest, but not a relationship in sight. Let me briefly introduce all four to you:

The First (RO). We shall call him M1. We met through friends. He is 10+ years my junior. We hit it off nearly instantly. He is sweet, honest, handsome and funny, in not “that” obvious way. He is a hard worker and takes good care of himself. M1, appears to be…when it comes to women, incredibly shy. I was the first flirter, for sure. He didn’t miss a beat though, picking up on it!

For Me: The age, is a slight concern. We do have common interests and know a lot of the same people. But there have been occasions, where the age difference was apparent. For Him: My best guess would be, that the age difference may be a problem for him as well.

This has been a slow-to-no mover. We enjoy each others company, but have not been in it, often enough. Over the last couple of years, we have spent time together at gatherings, exchanged several text messages, several phone calls, one dinner date out, a visit to his home and one extended dinner date in at my place. I am not sure where this could or would go, but I am open to exploring. I will be reaching out to M1.

The Second (RO). We shall call him M2. We had an unusual connection. I tripped over him on a dating site…and recognized him from coming to my place of work. Charming and handsome, and perhaps, more of a player than I would like to admit to myself. He ended up being the one to reach out to me first on the site, which is funny because he did not actually recognize me. When I brought it to his attention…we were then both thrilled to find out the other was single. We immediately started dating. Quite frequently at first…lessened over the last year.

For Me: It seems I enjoy, that when it comes to business, he is bright and interesting, and we have the industry in common. However, in those laid-back moments, there are apparent differences. For Him: I am guessing that the “thrill of the newness” has worn and he is not truly committed to developing a serious relationship with anyone at this time.

M2 is a generous soul and I am definitely attracted. I am open to exploring possibilities. I will be reaching out to M2.

The Third (RO). We shall call him S1. We have never met in person. S1 reached out to me with interest on a dating site 9 months ago. We exchanged numerous online messages and attempted to schedule a first meet, several times. It seemed to me there was always something. He referenced the distance in our locations, busy due to holidays, then he wasn’t feeling well…it seemed like he was losing interest (or had no actual intention of meeting, I’ve heard about people that just desire a “pen-pal” relationship), though never stopped messaging. My rule has been to not give out all my personal info (including telephone#) before meeting and to meet “sooner than later”. I felt we were not on the same page, if he was not anxious to meet. I explained how I felt and wished him luck with his search, 7 months ago and then I got off the site. Over these last 7 months, the dating site has sent me several offers of discounts and notices that parties were trying to reach me (I assumed a lure to get me to sign on again). But just recently they sent me an email with a copy of an actual message from S1. Basically, the message was apologizing for not making the meet happen and that he was sorry, wanted to meet and that he would get it right this time! Okay, so yes, I can’t help but be interested. I still have his number from when he asked me to make an exception to my rule and call (which I did not). I will now. I will be reaching out to S1.

The Fourth (RO). We shall call him C1. We also met through a dating site. Chatted back and forth via online messages for a week or so and then met for a lovely dinner. He was more than I expected to meet that night. Incredibly interesting, bright, attractive and engaging. However, I believe a “serial dater”. Once I got the “feel” for that, I didn’t hang around. I wonder if he had more of a story to be told, in regards to that. Did he have bad experiences with committed relationships? I am curious, if today, this charismatic professional has changed his mind about getting in a more serious relationship. I will be reaching out to C1.

My REVISITs (RV)

When I review, for reconsideration, the men that have asked me out and I said “no” to…most still self-eliminate. There are three however, that I believe are worth revisiting in regards to dating. All three, (at the time) for me, were in the friend zone. They are all great guys. Let me introduce them to you.

The First (RV). We shall call him D1. We met very organically. Out at a local place where I go fairly frequently on Fridays with friends. We got to know each other over time. He is 10 years my senior, which is not a problem for me. He has a very interesting work history, loves to socialize, is well spoken and seems to be well liked. As I stated before, however, he is currently in the friend zone. Perhaps, a change of heart and going on one date, may be telling.

The Second (RV). We shall call him J1. We met through mutual friends. They actually attempted a surprise “connection”, because they like the both of us so much, and we were both single…that they thought we might “hit it off”. We were quickly fond of each other, but not in that way. I have now known J1 and been friends with him for nearly 5 years. He is a fabulous guy. He is generous, hardworking and kind. About three years into the friendship he asked me to give him a call to go “riding” sometime (on his motorcycle). I knew the intent was now for something more than a friend, so I never did make that call. Perhaps it is time I look beyond…and make the call.

The Third (RV). We shall call him J2. We met through music (did I mention I sing with a rock band?) and became fast friends. Sometimes working together triggers interest for people. I have always tried to avoid that. J2 is a well established, talented, generous gentleman. Maybe I should not have tried to avoid this.

I Will Keep You Informed

I will reach out, in some fashion or another to everyone I just introduced you to. Do you have potentials in your mind, that you think may be worth revisiting or reaching out to? I figure, before I go jumping back on a dating site (which I would be open to) or putting up a billboard (not seriously considering…yet) I would explore my own personal resources, one more time. I would love for you to be sharing your stories, as well, as you explore…if you are doing so. In my next post I will detail how I reached out, what reaction I received and the current status…if any. Okay, fingers crossed. Wish me luck. I wish you the same, if you are on this journey with me. I really do want to hear all about it!